The challenge I see all the time among young people is that they are looking for their ideal man and ideal woman.
The truth is, your ideal man or ideal woman is married.
That is why sometimes, some people fall in love with married people. They are not married yet but they fall in love with married people.
You hear them say; oh..he is such a nice man, he has a good job, he is also kind, he has money, such an ideal man, he is this, he is that. Wonderful!
Most of the time, this guy or lady who looks perfect was not like that before he or she got married.
If in your vision, you husband is a CEO, can you recognise him when he is yet a CEO? That is what am talking about.
When pastor Nike and I got married, we were not the way we are now. It has taken investment.
This is why I have an issues with guys who are almost turning bachelor holding into an institution.
There are lots of people around town who are not getting married because they want to be able to get a mansion, cars, and money.
They will tell you, how can you marry a girl when you are not yet settled financially and they have already gotten a job. They are waiting to have an ideal financial situation.
I am telling you, if you are in that situation, you have been deceived.
What a lady need is not a perfect man in the present…this thing is about 10years, 20years, 30years, 40years time.
What she needs now is a man who have a vision, who can define exactly where he is going and who he is going to be. That is what defines the kind of wife he should marry.
When pastor Mike and I got engaged. In fact, it was after we were courting to be married that we discussed our salaries and I discovered that her allowance as a youth corper was more than my salary as a pastor. And the day I told her about my salary, I quickly told her, you know what? Is not going to be like that forever, I am going somewhere.
I described the future for her and told her, you know what? In fact, even though we will help each other at the beginning but there is coming a time when I will ask you to keep your salary and I will bear the full responsibility for this family fully.
That is the essence of leadership. You have a vision and you have the capacity to communicate it.
You should be able to sell your vision to a lady.
Listen! Ladies, if all of your assessment about a man; If what you are looking for is who the person is today, you will soon be deceived.
Because the fact that he has a car now, is no guarantee he will have a car in five years time.
Making a choice for marriage is largely a matter of intuition. Some people, all they think about is the wedding day.
In one day, they invest all their thought, energy and preparation. You hear them say; ah….my wedding…hmmm…the gown will come from Singapore.
On the wedding day the Pastor say; say after me and the couple will say “I do”
After that, what next? That is when some people remember there is honey moon. They will do honey moon for two to three weeks.
After that, what next? Nothing! No idea because all they were thinking about was a wedding.
Written by Sam Adeyemi